The 40-70 Rule: An Introduction

This online guide is designed to help adult children and their aging parents deal with those sensitive life topics that often make conversations difficult. How do you talk with your mom and dad about driving, dating and independence? And when do you start?

Based on research and experience, the international caregiving company Home Instead Senior Care recommends that the earlier these conversations begin the better. The 40-70 means that if you are 40, or your parents are 70, it’s time to start talking – at least about certain senior topics.

This guide features a series of situations followed by possible responses for some of the most awkward senior subjects. Sooner is better, before a crisis occurs. But it’s never too late to start. These examples cover situations that can be addressed early, as well as those that have reached a crisis level.

The scenarios and responses were developed by Home Instead Senior Care, based on real-life experiences, and with input from communication expert and author Jake Harwood, Ph.D., from the University of Arizona.

Home Instead Senior Care research forms the foundation for this guide. The company interviewed 1,500 U.S. and Canadian adult children of aging parents, asking them about their relationships with their parents, and how they handle discussing sensitive topics with these older adults.

A startling piece of research revealed that nearly one-third of adults in the U.S. have a major communication obstacle with their parents that stems from continuation of the parent-child role. The fact that many of these families still operate according to a parent-child model rather than a peer-to-peer one makes these conversations particularly difficult.